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Long story short, my mom convinced me to go back to college.

Which is starting in a week. Maybe less.


Annoying Headbanging Trash Dove Facebook Emoticon :slinky: GIF Gravity Falls - Celestabellebethabelle 

Well kinda. I might do another disappearing act again. Who knows. 

I'm feeling a bit better thanks to some new meds. I'd love to do some art trades, but some of them would have to be traditionally drawn and coloured, because technology still gives me panic attacks at times and I don't know when they'd strike. I promise it will be just as good as the digital ones. 

So who's in? I'll take the first few who responds. :) You can also tell me which style you prefer me to draw in: digital or traditional. 
Be nice to me. :P
Sorry for not being active. well, at all. I haven't been able to do much. And every day seems to have something in store to trigger my panic attacks and paranoia. I feel like I'm never going to get well again. 

Just posting to let you know I'm alive. Although I feel completely dead inside... 
I am okay though. Just hanging on and hoping to keep it that way. 

Hope you guys are doing better than I am. 
For those expecting the Christmas challenge, I'm sorry to say I can't do anything at the moment. I feel sick, and I can barely function. There's so much stress and panic attacks to deal with.

If it doesn't go away before the 15th, maybe I'll try again next year.

:( Sorry, again.

At least, I hope so. XDDD I really need to get back in the arting groove. 
Also... watch out for TF2 art. Lots and lots of TF2 art. 

Haha just kidding, I have zero motivation to do anything. But I'll do my best. 
I don't know how long this is going to go on...
I still get panic attacks when I get on the computer... is there any way you guys could help me with this problem? I seem to be very afraid of getting virus on my computer, and yet, I have one of the world's strongest antivirus app, which keeps me informed about my computer's condition (which is always clean, by the way). And I'm always extremely careful when I use the internet, and I never download stuff anymore, unless it's an update for my applications.
Yet... this is my irrational response to using my laptop. Ironic, huh? 

Even now as I'm typing this out, I'm being filled with paranoid thoughts... I really need help. :( 
School has started. And I've been getting hit by panic attacks every time I see my computer. And also I can't seem to get rid of my paranoid feelings and worries. 

Mostly because stupid Windows on my computer refused to update and I don't want to do it manually, and I have a crippling fear of viruses and malware even with the world's strongest computer protection. I have to wait for the Microsoft team to fix the problem, since others has it too. 

I still owe someone a trade, and the other, a contest drawing. I shall complete them soon, but other than that, other arts will have to wait. I can't do anything without it turning out like crap at the moment. I'm sick of feeling like this. Hopefully I can get rid of it eventually. I'll be seeing a therapist too. 

I'm sorry for the rant, and if it seems like I'm crazy and this is nothing. I just don't know how to deal with this right now. :crona:
Thanks for coming! 
It'll start at 8:30 pm (Eastern Time). Will be alternating between random doodles, on-the-spot requests (nothing too complicated), and a trade for :iconrattheripper:
I am disturbed by how scared and frightened I was for my computer when it had started acting up. Being the inexperienced computer user I was (although I use it everyday, FREQUENTLY), I started freaking out before checking online for solutions and using my antivirus program to scan my computer.

Would I be this concerned over a human life? Maybe for people I know... but it's scary how important I treat my computer. As if I am a alave to it.

And why not? All of my work is in there, if not in my external hard drive. All my stories, downloaded movies, RPs, art, pictures... memories. They are all in there. It doesn't help that I am equally paranoid about all my accounts getting hacked and used for malicious means. I am not a very sociable person, as I suck at it completely, and I would frequent my computer to draw, play games, and even chat with my friends. The computer truly is important to me.

It's just scary how much technology has taken over my life. Making me care for it as if it was my life. Maybe because it is.

I wonder if that was a sign, though, that I should not rely on it too much. I would try to be more careful next time and avoid stranger sites and downloads if I can.

Still... I will send my computer to some people for mantainance tomorrow.

Has technology taken over your life? Please leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Tagged by :iconmerani:.

1. - You must posts these rules.
2. - Each person has to share 10 things about them.
3. - Answer the 10 questions asked to you and invent 10 questions the people you tag will have to answer.
4. - Choose 10 [nope, only 5] people and put their icons on your journal.
5. - Go to their page to inform them they are tagged.
6. - Not something like " you are tagged if you read that".
7. - You have to legitimately tag 10 people. (NO)
8. - No tag-backs.
9. - You can’t say that you don't do tags.
10. - YOU MUST MAKE A JOURNAL ENTRY. NO COMMENTS. Unless you're commenting about the actual entry.

Ten Things About Me:
1. I have ADHD. It makes me severely distracted and unable to complete normal or basic tasks. Though, I don't take medication for it unless it's on the day of an exam, as I like myself to be that way. 
2. I used to want to be an actor. I'd act out book/movie scenes in my room as a kid. Sometimes, when I want to create a feel for the characters I'm writing about, I still do that. 
3. I laugh unexpectedly. It creeps people out a lot. 
4. I wrote a book five years ago, but I never published it. Even if I tried now, it'll seem like a Zootopia ripoff. 
5. For me, food is more important than a relationship. 
7. Sometimes, I feel too lazy to talk to people online, or I just have nothing to say. This isn't because I don't want to talk to you. 
8. I'm a nerd. I look up things I don't know, instead of waiting for people to give me the answer. 
9. I like all sorts of animals. 
10. I still like to watch cartoons. 

Merani's questions:

1. What makes you laugh?
Funny animals, Pewdiepie, terrified faces (I don't know! Don't ask why!), nothing (refer to above)
2. Do you have any quirks?
Not sure. :P I probably didn't notice. 
3. What do you see when you look out of the window?
A wasteland. I'm not kidding. Many dead trees and plants around. 
4. Which languages do you speak fluently?
English and Chinese. 
5. What's your favorite food when you're sick?
What normally is my favourite food. 
6. If you had the chance to have any job you want, what would it be?
Animator! :la: 
7. What's the craziest thing you've done so far?
I've done a lot of crazy things... I'm not sure anymore. There's this one time I picked up a bat though. Fortunately I wasn't bitten. 
8. If you had been born the opposite sex, what would your parents have named you?
9. Do you have a good luck charm?
Oh, I have lots of charms... I just forget to use them everytime. :P Though, God is all the luck I'll ever need.
10. What would you consider the best day of your life?
I don't know... I had lots of best days. 

My questions: 
1. On a scale of one to ten, how do you rate your insanity? 
2. What is your favourite book? 
3. Have you watched any foreign shows/cartoons? Animes count. Gimmie suggestions!
4. If you have many OC/FCs, which one is your favourite? If you don't have any of those, tell us about a favourite character from any series. Or you can do both if you want to. 
5. What do you think is the scariest natural disaster?
6. Duct tape or rope?
7. How often are you on the computer/tablet/phone? 
8. Do you like ghost stories? And then regret reading them late at night? 
9. What is your favourite mythology? 

I tag: :iconterrorthatflaps:, :iconmissinspi:, :iconsixerp:, :iconp-inkbliss:
, :iconlupineleigh:


*goes back snd unclicks*
Been feeling kinda uninspired. ^^; I will try to upload more art soon, including a few I owe people. But I just don't really feel like it recently.
I'm so lazy. :P 

I'll probably draw a bunch of everyone's OCs in a sketchdump or something. :P I haven't done all that in a loooooong time. 

Also, I have an idea for a Christmas challenge, which is going to be Darkwing Duck themed. If you're interested in participating, feel free to lemme know and I'll give the details. 
I'm sorry, but Darkness Within sucked. I'll write more shorts about Harmonizer and Bushroot and everyone else before writing longer stories about them again.
I'll only take them out after rewriting them, once I'm confident that I can do so. 
Ever had these moments where you do something without thinking, and then you're like "Why did I do that? D: I'm so stupid."?

I'm crying. 
The Rules:

Comment below and I will come to your gallery and choose three of your works that will be featured in this journal.

If you comment, you have to do the same in your journal, putting the tagger (me) and three of my works on the first place.

The number of people taking part is unlimited, but to enter this you have to be my friend or watcher. I'm sorry, but I don't like it when an unknown person comes to me only in order to get a free feature, and then runs away to never come again.

The idea of this is not to get a free feature, it is to spread art around for everyone!

1. :iconterridelgado:
Bun Pips by TerriDelgado Marichat by TerriDelgado (<< I blame you for getting me interested in that show. 8D)  Judy Hopps by TerriDelgado

2. :iconserinitysaranaid:
954616 823753244343862 1122087360905916330 N by SerinitySaranaid  Cam00409 by SerinitySaranaid  Cam00371 by SerinitySaranaid

Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu Nuu 
Weeeell, let's see...

(3:57 mark)